I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
