if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
did i just pee glitter
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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