I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
