I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Randomize
