So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
