I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If I die, sorry about rent.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
