Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
