he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
