why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We're too hungover to prance.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
