there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
