May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
