so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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