Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
