i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
