My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
