hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
