I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
this hospital has no fireball
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
