You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
So gin and wine won't be happening again
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
