I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
COCAINE IS GR8
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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