We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Vodka?
Forever.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
