Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she peed on how many people?
So many bounce houses so little time
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
