Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
