he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
