I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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