as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
