I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
