and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
