I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Panties = found
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
