That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
