No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
