She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
