Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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