and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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