You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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