I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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