I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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