She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
