thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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