I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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