We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
