i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
