If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
