Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
