What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
