did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
