After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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