BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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