id be glad to
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
