guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
