My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
